Writing Tip #24 - Hack your Brain

 All right. There’s some backstory to this, but first I’m going to apologize for not posting for a while. Things are crazy, as always.

First of all, some news. The sale on our ebook for Screenshot was extended to August 23rd, so you can pick up a copy for only 99 cents. If, like me, you prefer to have a physical copy, it is also available on Amazon as a softcover. Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.ca/Screenshot-Alice-Salvage  

Yes, it’s under my name. That was easier.

Anyway, on to writing tip number 23!

First of all, I need to clarify something. When I tell you to hack your brain, I don’t mean go to some mad scientist and get him to reprogram your brain with his laser beam or whatever he uses. If you know someone who can do that, talk to the police.

For those of you left, I’ll explain. 

By hack your brain, I mean train yourself to think along different lines. Reward yourself for writing, for meeting word goals and whatever. Tell yourself that you will have a chocolate after you meet your goal, and then do it. It won’t be instant, but after a few days of doing this you’ll start to be excited about writing, because your brain wants the chocolate.

This is the same principle that Ivan Pavlov used to train his dogs. Every time he fed them, he rang a bell. Eventually, they began to associate the bell with food. So, the doorbell rang, the dogs thought food and ate a delivery guy.

No. But they did salivate every time they heard that bell, because it meant something good was coming. 

That type of conditioning works on humans too. It’s like when you are potty-training a child and you give them a treat every time they use the toilet. They start to associate going to the bathroom with the treat, so then they want to go. If you associate writing with something good, you will want to write.

Also, give bigger rewards for bigger accomplishments. Whenever Jillian publishes a book (either hers or as part of a compilation) she buys a stuffed animal. This serves two purposes. One, she’s rewarded herself for publishing, in a way that is tangible, and two, because the treat is tangible and not consumable, she can look up and see it, and see what she’s done. It’s actually quite a good idea.

She keeps the two she has (Edgar the elephant for Unidentified and Renaldo the raccoon for Screenshot) on a shelf above her desk, where she can see them as she writes. She looks at the shelf when she’s feeling stuck or discouraged and reminds herself that she can and has written two books.

Yeah. Rewards. Pavlov.

Anyway, have a good week!

What if everything that came before was suddenly now?

 First of all, shoutout to Adrianna86 for the good question, thanks for commenting. Secondly, for those of you who figure that this sounds remarkably like the plot of a certain Marvel series that recently ended, don’t worry. No Loki spoilers. 

All right, here we go.

To start with considering this question, we need to define a few hard to define concepts. Namely, where the past ends and the present begins. Not to mention the past and the present themselves.

The present is a tricky thing. Most consider it the moment that you are currently experiencing, like me as I’m writing this and you as you read this. And usually, I would agree, except in this circumstance. Here, the present is more than a moment, it is a concrete amount of time that can have other, equally concrete amounts of time mashed into it.

So, for the purpose of this write up, I’m going to define present as a lifetime. So, for you, it starts the second you are born (or conceived, whichever philosophy you agree with) and ends the moment you die (disregarding all possibility of heaven or hell, for simplicity). That’s the present. One, finite lifetime.

Now we get the past. Similarly to the present, we’re going to define this as all the time before your lifetime, all the way back to the beginning of time. And where they meet, that would be where you are born.

All right. Now that our terms are defined, let’s jump right in.

What would happen if the past was spontaneously jumped forward into the present? Quite simply, I think that time would cease altogether.

Here’s why. Basically, we’re taking a (possibly) infinite amount of time, and trying to stuff it into this small box of present, a finite amount of time. As far as we can tell, the past goes back forever. Now, of course there must have been a beginning and all that, but for our purposes, the past stretches infinitely behind us.

But, our present is finite. As we define it, it lasts somewhere around 80-90 years, and then we die. At that time, our present, which has ended, becomes past.

So, even though it seems impossible to bring the past forward and making it the present, because we are trying to fit something infinite into something finite, the present is constantly being changed into the past, in the normal passage of time.

As far as anyone has observed, time is linear. Always moving forward. The past is the past, the present present and the future is the future. That’s not something we can change.

Now, it’s time to address time machines. I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately, and have come to the conclusion that the way Marvel presented time travel in Endgame was quite brilliant. Dr. Banner explains it briefly by saying that you can’t change the future by going into the past, because when you go into the past, that becomes your future. His wording is odd, but the standard reasoning actually makes some sense.

It has to do with the past, present and future and how we understand them. Basically, we need to consider the past unchangeable. We’ve all regretted that we couldn’t change something embarrassing. So, if we go into the past and say change something, steal a key object or whatever, if we use the traditional understanding, it creates a paradox. If we’ve stolen this object before it was important, how would we know to steal it?

That’s why linear time makes more sense. The past is a different version of the world, playing out set roles. Only in your present can you make choices that change the direction of the future.

Sorry that went a little long, it’s a big and complicated topic.

Just a reminder to everyone who’s gotten this far, email me at scribbler.collective@gmail.com and I will send you a free copy of Unidentified, Jillian’s book. Screenshot is available on Amazon, in print, and the ebook is available wherever you get ebook. Or send me an email and I’ll send out a copy.

Anyway, cheers, thanks again to Adrianna86 for a good topic and see you later!

Politeness is Key

 "All right, is everyone ready?" I stood at the front of my class, pointer in hand. This was a particularly rowdy bunch. The typical heroes, some sidekicks, a Mary-Sue. Even two anti-heroes. They always wrote interesting letters/.

"What are we doing here?" Mary-Sue asked. She was already perfect. It was surprising to see her here, honestly. Her writer would never let her write anything less than a cordial, polite letter, even if it was to her antagonist.

"Well, as many of you know, you are the protagonists of a story. Your writers have sent you here to learn how to write polite letters, particularly to your antagonists. As each of you have a unique story, these letters will all be unique, so a cookie cutter form will not do. You must learn how to properly greet, address, and then threaten your antagonist. Shall we begin?"

As I taught, I could actually see some pairs of eyes glazing over. The anti-heroes were making spitballs with their papers, which I didn't mind. I was here to teach them how to write letters, not how to be decent human beings.

"And that is how you write a proper letter to someone you hate. Any questions?" Every hand in the room went up, except Mary-Sue's. Sighing, I added, "That aren't about lunch or sarcastic?"

Every hand went down.

"That's what I thought. Now, you are going to write a letter and submit it to me. This is our only class, so show me that you actually learned something and that this wasn't just a waste of my time."

Pens went to paper, and they began to scribble away.

Most of the letters are hardly worth mentioning, as they were very similar to what I saw every time I taught this class. Perfect grammar, good punctuation, proper language, the whole deal. 

One stood out, though, because it actually made me laugh while reading it. I can't remember the last time someone actually used vulgar language in a letter. Apparently, one of the anti-heroes had become so engrossed in the intricate process that is spitball making that he hadn't paid any attention to my lecture.

My dear hated antagonist, it read. Obviously, he hadn't reached the point where he had met the antagonist yet.

I hope this letter finds you well, doing good things that would make your mother proud, as opposed to the last activities I am aware of you engaging in. 

What do you think of the weather we've been having? I don't really care for this sun, as it is bad for my complexion. Not to mention that large amounts of sun allow you to charge the death ray that you intend to vaporize New Haven with, which is also rather detrimental to my health.

Of course, that is my own opinion, one not necessarily shared by yourself or others around me. A balance is always best, and we should always strive to find the solution that makes everyone the happiest.

Forever the one who is destined to kick your ass,

Jard The Rogue

P.S. I know where you intend to place the death ray, and wished to politely inform you that I intend to intervene. Of course, this will likely involve either killing you or putting you in jail for what will probably be the rest of your natural life. A warning is only fair. Toodles.

Writing Tip #23 - Break the Rules, within reason

 Hey! Grammar has rules, English has rules, and there are certain rules that your teachers tell you never to break. Things like fragmented sentences, dangling participles, passive voice, head-hopping whatever.

Guess what! You can break them! As a writer, breaking certain rules will give your story a different tone.

Short sentences can help build tension. For example:

They’re watching.

Waiting.

Patient, ever patient.

They stand quietly, barely twitching. A swish of the tail, a blink of an eye.

Some say they’re friendly. But I can tell. They’re waiting for us to drop our guard.

Stupid cows.

See? That bit of writing is tense. It helps to set the scene and tell you a bit about the narrator. But I broke several rules. (Comment if you spot them all!)

As the saying goes, rules are made to be broken. But be intentional. Break rules with a purpose, not for the sake of breaking rules.

If you follow the rules, all the time, you will turn out a respectable book. It might seem a little dry, but your reader won’t know the difference. But by breaking certain rules sometimes, you vary sentence length, tone, and can even write less (words, I mean).

So yeah. Break rules. Intentionally.

Just so you know, I have extended the sale on Screenshot, so it is still only 99 cents. I’ll even give away a few copies of the ebook, just send me an email. 

Again, I am giving away Unidentified, so email me if you wanted a free ebook of that.