Wednesday, May 13, 2020

What if life was like the movies?

What if life was a movie? Depending on the genre, life could be equal parts boring and terrifying. If it was a superhero action movie, the amount of catastrophic world-ending events that were narrowly averted would be dramatically increased. (By my calculations, there’d probably be one every month or so). The world would never actually end.

If life was a romance, the amount of single people would diminish drastically and the amount of epic love stories would skyrocket. Life would probably be incredibly boring, with people like me barfing in corners all the time. Romance is both boring and predictable. Everything would end happily.

If life was a tragedy, no one would have any spouses, and one person out of every family would have some sort of fatal illness. Car crash deaths would rise, as would random shark attacks, vending machines falling and other statistically unlikely but very sad deaths.

If life was a tragic romance, it would be like Romeo and Juliet, with couples dying in each other’s arms after short and unrealistic courtships.

If it was a horror movie, it would be terrifying. Normal wimps like me would never set foot outside, instead choosing to fortify my house to insane levels and become self-sufficient.

Life as a comedy would be a lot funnier. Life as a documentary would be boring and people would sleep all the time, unless it was a history documentary on the Romans or Greeks or Egyptians.

I can’t think of any other genres off the top of my head, but if you can, comment what you think life would be like.

Strong opinions. Good times.

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